Corrupted Celluloid
Journal
May 25, 2025
Next week I need to decide wether or not I will continue the study programme in Brussels. I find it hard to make decisions which have long term impact. I already have a BA in media studies and only have to study one year to finish my masters. Then I could just start working. Financially, it just would make sense to finish my masters and enter the job market. Though, I also really like making theatre, but it is difficult to justify the extra years of study and wether it will result to a longstanding career. There are so many talented artists fighting for the same jar of coins. I like what I'm doing in Brussels, but I don't know what it will lead to. I don't know where I will end up, which stresses me out. Why do anything, if every path just doesn't feel like the right one?
May 20, 2025
I worked today on my version of Woyzeck I'm directing. My teachers were there during the rehearsel. I'm not gonna lie, it wasn't a relaxed experience getting feedback on my directing while I was directing. I got flashbacks on me getting my driver's license. It is similar to getting driver's lessons, where you need to apply the feedback of your instructor while you are driving a car. This context switching between listening and driving can become quickly confusing and stressful. Receiving feedback during a theatre rehearsel is quite similar. Driving and directing are both technical skills that are highly personal. Everyone has their own style of driving, similar that every director has their own style when it comes to directing. Though simularities can be drawn between directing and driving, the former feels (in my opinion) way more vulnerable than the latter. The technicalities of directing are not only artistic, but also very social. You have to be able to communicate your artistic intentions to your actors, as well as guide the artistic process of the group as a whole. If you are a shy or insecure person, it can demand a lot of effort to lead an rehearsel. Receiving feedback and instructions from your teachers in front of your actorscan make you feel more insecure. So, anyway. I'm just gonna ask my teachers to give me feedback after the rehearsels.
May 16, 2025
Writing this during the early afternoon. I will work with my actors on the Woyzeck projects. I also need to collect and turn in a portfolio from my creative writings. The deadline today, but I think I won't have to do much editing. I just need to choose the right texts and formulate questions for how I could improve my writings. This last thing will be the harderst, because I don't really know what I should ask. Anyway, I'm kinda procrastinating by wrting this. So bye!
May 14, 2025
I worked today on my theatre project for School. It's a reworked version of Woyzeck, where the captain, drum major and docter are merged into one character. I also put some excerpts in from Büchner's "The Hessian Courier (German: Der Hessische Landbote)". I also, sneaked in an excerpt from a letter of Martin Heidegger, which he sent to Hannah Arendt during his affair. Later today I worked on a short film i'm making with a classmate. We made the deal that he will be the main writer of the screenplay, and I will be the main director.
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